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Al Qanadeen

With a team rife with Abbasis & Associates - in this case, relatives through marriage, Waheeds and a lonesome Usman - the team lacks a legitimate full-time defenceman aside Asim.  Awais can hold the fort but can he do it without much defensive help?  Mayar and Mobeen combined for career production last time, but still didn't make the playoffs.  Pronouncing Canadian as Qanadeen may not be enough for this team.

Successful tournament if:  reach quarterfinals

Camel Riders

With Kwasi, Sherif, Shoib and Bilal, the Camel Riders are anything but slow.  With Khurram, Omer and Junaid, they are anything but weak.  Suhail and Khalid are able secondary scorers.  The team is built on friendship and chemistry – but more so on the camelbacks of Ahmed and Adam in nets.  As the 2 Arabs go, so does the team.

Successful tournament if:  reach quarterfinals

Chargers

It is very likely that the Sandhu bros, Umario and Aliuigi, will come prepared (by eating pasta the day before) and will plumb out the opposition.  Probowser is only evil to opposing goalies, especially with his red turtle shell heat-seeking slapshots.  The cast of characters, excluding Arif Wario Khan and Sameer Yoshi Devji, but including Adil Diddiqui Kong, Humza Toad Khan, Aneel Bob-omb Anwar, Aziz Dry Bones Assadzada, Fady Pirhana Plant Zigby, Osman Goomba Mirza and Aboodi Banana Peel Hussain will try to finish this level.  In this game, Nidal Princess Diaz doesn’t need to be saved because he can make saves himself.  But will they earn a star doing so?

Successful tournament if:  reach quarterfinals

Da’is

GM Zubair likened his goalie tandem to Halak-Price but there is more semblance with that of Tampa Bay’s Smith-Nittymaki or the Islanders’ Biron-Roloson; this is not just their chilles heel but their chilles leg – especially with Fahad slated to play D.  But a couple of Mirzas joint with a couple of Khurrams can lead to good things.  Sher and Belarbi remain a fearsome 2-headed offensive juggernaut and Zubair and Asim can play defensive roles.  Picking up a top player in Suleman and solid defenceman in Sheraz will be of great help and Fahad can score.  Zubair has preached and talked the talk like no other but can his team walk the walk? Or will they hobble to an early da’wat?

Successful tournament if:  reach semi-finals

Dragons

The most dominant Shuaib since the early retirement of Shoab Ullah is Shuaib Hussein. He will be accompanied by the dynamic duo of Yousuf S. and Yousuf S.  Hindy and Hundi will undoubtedly come in handy.  Azum and Ali pack a punch, but Papa Khalid Mufti may be a late scratch for emergency personal reasons.  No one knows what to expect from this Toronto team that may go 4-0-1 in the regular season or head back the 401 after missing the playoffs.  Experts however, think that Naiem and Nomi will breathe fire on opponents that dare disturb the Dragons’ path to the playoffs.

Successful tournament if:  win championship

Falcons

The NFL Falcons ditched Michael Vick due to animal cruelty.  These Falcons, however, will only be cruel to opposing teams.  Just like their name, speed is their game.  Nadeem is being likened to Cruella de Vil because, to him, opposing teams are like puppies from 101 Dalmations.  Fahad x 2 can score and will get support from Nassim, Javed and Bilal.  Zaid, Mohsen and Danish provide stability at both ends and captain Amir provides much-needed veteran savvy.  Sibtain has only backstopped teams to success in the past – he will have to do so twice as hard to taste the championship with this one.

Successful tournament if:  reach quarterfinals

Gladiators

They are big, they are fast and any team with Emmad is downright intimidating.  Usama and Ali can score big – or small – goals and Safi can stickhandle through a desi fish market.  Ihtisham is a pillar of strength and Dilshad and Faheem return to Montreal with trademark solid play.  Ibad is as good as it gets in nets – but can he pull a Russell Crowe and slay the emperor – or Sultans?

Successful tournament if:  win championship

Green Army

Their lowest grade to date was a B+, given by an “anonymous” “expert” lacking self-confidence.  The soldiers from Green Army are into biological warfare with potent chemistry.  4 championships in 5 tournaments keeps them up on the ladder.  The military machine is as greasy as Riaz, slippery as Hamed and Inshan, robust as Mohamed, Rehan and Sharaz and as effective as Sophian and Nazir.  The battle will be fierce, but the Army is war-ready.

Successful tournament if:  win championship

Horsemen, the

“On the 3^rd day of Eid my Faraz Ali gave to me: 5 South Shorians, 4 West Islanders, 3 names with ‘A’ (Asrar, Atif, Ahmed) , 2 O.C. members, and 1 chance to win the championship trophy” should sing Nabil, as he has taken credit for assembling the team.  The D is strong and so is the offence, but there is a disconnect between both.  They may change their name to Hoarsemen reflecting Nabil’s voice after yelling at his team for its running laps and lapses.  Zohaib and Ahmed had great chemistry last time and Ismail with Saad are not to be taken lightly.  Atif, Mahmoon and Asrar form a formidable formation on defence.

Successful tournament if:  reach semi-finals

Kings, the

Hal Gill is known for his height and blocking shots, as is goalie Usamah Gill and defencemen Umair and Mazyar.  Cornwall’s Ijaz and his cannon will be paired with rookie Ammar and Inayat will be among the Patels up front.  Asif, joined by Imran and Afzal, is learning how (not) to GM from the elder Patel, Zubair.  The Patels have had enough of planting crops and are ready to reap the harvest of the playoffs.  If only Zubair would stop considering them a “farm” team.

Successful tournament if:  make playoffs

Redline

More Patels emerge out of the woodworks in this Montreal-Toronto merger.  Raza is being touted as a top goalie in skill but not necessarily in attitude.  Can Krimson Kryptonite stalwarts Sheryar, Shahzeeb and Haris join hands with Alim, Shawn and Nabil to make a serious push?

Successful tournament if:  reach semi-finals

Rough Heroes

The Legacy has decided to go a heroic route.  Nadeem provides veteran savvy and leadership for a young South Shore team.  Ibu marks his return in nets.  The going will get tough, other teams will huff and puff but it won't be enough, they might lack some buff, no playoff beards just some peach fluff, but they bring good stuff, they aren’t just fluff, and if they make the playoffs, with pride they will puff.  On the other hand, if they don’t score any goals, they can consider a name change to Rough Zeroes.

Successful tournament if:  make playoffs

Rupinder’s Dream Team

One of two teams with a Captain Chughtai with balance being the key.  Having 2 out of 3 of Aoudes and Uddins helps at all ends.  Virk and Shujaat give some offensive activity and Syed gives grit and stability everywhere.  Rupinder’s Dream lies with Hany up front and Hassan in nets; a nightmare on Lakeshore Rd is not out of the picture if the others don’t pick it up – neither is a lecture from the professor in nets.

Successful tournament if:  reach semi-finals

Scarlet Knights

A depleted lineup that has star players Ilyas, Ammar and Zubair all out.  However, the goaltending is strong with Yousuf, as is the scoring with the Rajputs and Shaan.  Ali can be counted to bring the salami, but will the lack of subs lead to a store closing of Subway? Or will they sandwich all of their opponents into the loss column.

Successful tournament if:  reach finals

SHIELD

Ironic that a team name Shield has no concept of defense.  They might also have no concept of offense if Alaa, Bamba and Karim fail to show up and if Ouiam and Wissam fail to wake up in the morning on time.  Will Chishty, Bassam or Khalil get the call?  Al Emran’s game will have to be as young as his wardrobe.  Samir will have to try to hit the net with a shot at least once in the tournament.  Expect similarities between Salman and the team jersey: they’ll both be blue.

Successful tournament if:  reach finals

Silent Attack

Same name, same formula, different players, hoping for better results.  Najid, Omar Yendrich and the Cornwall Trio return with a star goalie in Rahil and a stronger group up front.  Ammar and Zied’s shots are deadly, Adil can grind it out, Haroon scores clutch goals and Mohamad can do it all.  A team name change to Loud Attack may be in order with Mohammed Alam on the team.

Successful tournament if:  reach finals

Smooth Criminals

MJ was the King of Pop – Smooth Criminals are the kings of snot with some youth on the roster.  The Haques, Nazim and Ali give some veteran presence.  Harris, Tariq, Asif and Adnan are Plan B.  They do have some football skills with Imran but resemble less the Cincinnati Bengals and more the Sin City Bengalis.  Will this tourney be a walk in the park? Or will they moonwalk dejectedly to (Imran) Doha, Qatar?

Successful tournament if:  make playoffs

Sultans

The Shahabuddins and Jonathan join up with an impressive Toronto ensemble.  This offensive powerhouse is flanked by Ahsan and Mustafa with Naveed and Taha up front.  Nadeem and Aadil can fill in quality minutes to help Ali make a triumphant return – more so than the Dynamo days.  But will this highly touted roster choke when it counts and become a shell of the Ottomans? There is no I in team, and there is no I in Sultans, but there is an I in Sultani Kababs – and that is exactly what will happen to them if they don’t play a team game.

Successful tournament if:  win championship

Titans

Expect tight defense from these “Tightans”.  Scoring will be a challenge, but the defense is stout – literally.  The pundits have spoken – they will need a Music City Miracle and looser undies to reach the finals.  Captain Chughtai, Misbah, Hammad and Fahad will be counted on to do much at both ends.  Kashif, Naved and Khalid can snipe – but hitting the target can be a challenge.  Ferhan will be alert(pay) and Omair can hold the fart and go days without making wudhu, but can he hold the fort to eke out a victory in what is expected to be low-scoring games?

Successful tournament if:  reach quarterfinals

United Muslims

Turkish goalie sensation Ugar Cangal backstops the core of ex-Da’is.  “Experts” have them ranked low – but like the States, these Muslims are United in their effort to make the playoffs, and more importantly, beat the Da’is.  The team’s success – or lack thereof – will on the backs of Faisal Khan and Rumman (Hamrlik) Meah.

Successful tournament if:  make playoffs and defeat Da’is